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  • Writer's pictureJose Arrieta

The Big Ambivalence

Once upon a time the universe banged

Big boom bang did everything everywhere all at once

Quarks and photons banged all around

Gluons did their best but the center broke


Once upon a time the universe banged

Big boo hoo Yaa yey aua belled my baby at once

Flesh blood pain banged all around

A body did its best but it just as well broke


Once upon a time the universe lacked meaning

Nothing ever mattered the universe was all calm

A time forever ago so singular in space and time it lacks a place in history

A time so devoid of value that no one ever cares about


Once upon a time my life lacked meaning

I collected titles and shining prizes but all for nought

A time a life time ago that ended just last week and lacks a place in my personal history

A time so meaningless I was just a husband and not a dad


Black, white, red, loud were the first colors and sounds

Joy, fear, exhaustion, confusion, my first feelings as a dad

Blue brown with a metallic smell and lungs that brought down the gods

My daughter came to my life as something broke


Black, uv, x, and gamma, loud as nothing ever again we're the first colors and sounds

Potential, possibility, and hope the first feelings of the God who made us

Blue, brown, and with a salty smell and winds that brought life to our world

Life came to our world as God finished its work


Purpose, anger, rage, retribution.

Hatred, love, beauty, excrement

How joyous and toxic was the big ambivalence

How imbalanced our past


As history cools down and world settles into place a purpose come

A purpose filled with curiosity and the strength of eons before

A purpose to care for my daughter my family and the world

No one, nowhere, ever again ought to go through this

Everyone always and forever should feel this joy


Hello, little enemy.

See you in court.

Hello, little darling.

See you always in my heart and at my side.


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