Racism exists at different levels. As a nonwhite I have experienced many of them directly or indirectly. Some types of racism are acceptable. Many people have a preference for lighter people when looking for a partner. And even though some antiracists would aim at pushing for increasing racial mixing, I am quite fine accepting that type of racism. Same if a florist prefers not to sell me flowers, cakes, etc.
When it becomes unacceptable for me is when public institutions are built around racism. It is hard to be racist in public but racists are hard working people. They will redirect funding away from antiracist policies, or make the institutions they run unbearable but unsearchable so that there is no way of finding definitive proof of racism and wrongdoing
Just as that creepy coworker who does just as much to make you cringe with the thought of him avoids crossing the line that would get him reprimanded, the hardworking racist makes it that the institutions they run require nonwhites suffer as much as possible but less than what would lead them into trouble.
This means that these institutions will have very warm and open facades colorful and welcoming websites, but when one needs their services, their phones will never pick up, emails will never be answered, complaints will lay unprocessed, and you will be reprimanded from going to their offices without an appointment.
Their employees will explain that they are understaffed and underfunded and they are. But what the employee forgets is that at some point there was a deliberate choice to make the offices understaffed. Some diligent racist decided that The level of pain inflicted to the nonwhites was just enough to satisfy its whim for torture.
Naturally, this processes do not limit themselves to racist, generally speaking it works with any in-group, out-group dynamic. In these cases, instead of a racists, you will find a boundary enforcer whose job, as the title explain is to enforce the boundaries set by people in his group to keep outsiders outside. Typical cases include processes to make school funding fair, provide same paid for same work, or even let people marry each other independent of archaic mixing rules.
I have rambled. Yet, I hope my point is clear. I will fight for the right of racists to date where they want and feel well doing it. I will accept that people do not want to sell me things due to the color of my skin. But I despise and will denounce racists institutions run in such a way that they impart just enough pain as legally allowed to us nonwhites. Individually please be as racists as you want. But I pay the same taxes as you do, I won't accept that you give me worse services as a way of making you feel superior.