A Blinding Brown Rainbow
Me: Wow. What the hell? What was that?
Joy: mmm, just me?
Me: Your nerve. I mind my business and now I need to disrupt my life just because of you.
Joy: Need to?
Me: Fair point. Choose to.
Me: Yeah. Yeah. Not disrupt. But upend. Not need but enjoy. And clearly not just because, but truly due to you.
Joy: Buckle up!
I feel anxious, excited, hopeful, bubbly. My insides are in shambles. I scurry and run around as my palace fell to crumbles upon your arrival.
In an instant you destroyed a quarter century of shame I did my best to collect. You cracked my foundations and flooded my home.
You take my hand and I get a footing in my new self. Starstruck. My ears ring. My eyes adjust to the new shine. How can life be like this? How dare you make me hope?
My pupils hurt. I stand at your side. Your glow hurts. You dry the shame and fear. You change everything as I cry your name.
Tits up you say and I follow. I breathe in and absorb the change. I try to fathom what is to come and my knees buckle, my eyes water, I cry your name. You hole me tight.
I damn you. You have changed my inner self and now you leave. You leave to let me plan what to do in the void shame left behind you narcissist marked under your name.
The space you painted over in a blinding shade that shines in all the beauty of a brown rainbow. I despise my surrender to you my goddess. And I wait in hope for your return.